To be or not to be...

28th january, 2009

10:30 PM

Today, something very unusual but believable happened. I have this very close friend of mine, a very bad case of nerves, who called me early in the morning today scaring my wits out of me pleading her usual ‘we need to talk’ and asking me for a suitable time, when I thought we could ‘talk’. Groggy, in my ‘still in the bed and loving it position’, I suggested the evening would suit me the best when I could comfortably sit and think over a coffee, after the days work.

Ah…the call ended but my mind didn’t rest after that. My friend, however hyper n volatile she is, doesn’t call me that early for her ‘we need to talk’ sessions. I cursed myself and groaned in my bed trying to overcome the ‘urge’ to call her and ‘talk’. The day came and went and the talk stayed out of focus till I noticed eleven, obviously frantic yet determined missed calls on my cell phone.

Darn …I’d forgotten...’the talk’. My keyed up friend had certainly not lost hope and was still determined to get through when I picked up her next call and received a “where the hell do you think you keep your phone?”. Managing an apology I nudged her to get down to business…I was getting interested.

My friend a very good looking early 20 something year old girl had broken up with her tenth boyfriend a month and a half ago and till today had been loving her newly found freedom and single hood. Being an age old single personality myself I hadn’t found this ‘way of life’ anyway weird and (on getting to know about her tenth ‘emotionally heavy split’) had encouraged her to look around and discover what (read who) she desired for instead of torturing herself with another relationship bearing the likeness of the one she’d just ended. But …sigh…it wasn’t to be.

My friend wasn’t exactly loving my version of ‘the way’ and wanted me (why me???) to introduce her to a couple of MY guy friends over this weekend so that SHE could choose and go out with the best!(ah ..Right…). Now...Neither am I very protective of my guy friends like it seems when I write it that way (ah probably…I am…am i?) nor do I harbor any envious green feelings against my friend (after all its my choice to follow my version of ‘the way’) for feeling free to choose from my list of the eligible guys on the block but am certainly taken aback for some reasons and the others.

Mostly because she says she is sick of being single and now ‘wants’ a guy to ‘prove’ (what??) to people that she is still wanted and can have guys swooning over her everywhere. When I argued with her that she could very well let them swoon around her and still be single, the logic was lost on her. She said that she was feeling her other girlfriends had started hiding their boyfriends from her (lest they start swooning too) and that she desired for that someone who’d take care of her and hoped it would label her safely committed around others. (what?!) She even felt she’d begun getting insecure she’d have no one for her if she doesn’t start looking for Mr. perfect eleven(she just dumped her perfect tenth…)soon. uh uh!
Sigh… In short the lovely lil ‘angel’ (her sixth had called her that) wanted to go back to her committed self and once again start throwing her weight around on some poor guy who’d struggle incessantly to cope up with tantrums the last ten endured.

I am sure we all have met many like my friend here or (err...) ourselves struggle everyday from staying away from that ‘oh so handsome boy’ in class/at office (or wherever), we would want to go out with but know would eventually turn out like the one we’d just dumped (or got dumped by :o ). I don’t understand why we don’t stop and ask ourselves for a change, what exactly do we want? Or is it that we don’t know what we want?

My friend says she usually whistles ‘interested’ and pounces at the first guy with the necessary checks on the list (she has a checklist for the type of guy she considers perfect!) who wants to go out with her or the first guy who looks eligible to her to be introduced as ‘her guy’! This Trial and error is her way of finding her perfect (but final) prince charming number blah blah blah who she says she’d finally live happily ever after with. Sigh… I hope that happens some time soon. Meanwhile I’d better go and make a list of some eligible people we’d meet this weekend for coffee/lunch/dinner.
Sigh…